Why subscribe?

It could be fun. You don’t know until you try. And it’s free, unless you want to pay me, Sophie Venz, the fearless leader of Never Make Your Bed.

So if you don’t want to make your bed every day, don’t! I’ll show you how.

At Never Make Your Bed Inc, we do absolutely whatever we want—as long as we don’t waste precious hours of our existence making our bed every morning just to unmake it later.

*You can still join even if you do make your bed! This isn’t real! I am just a freelance journalist and editor! I am not a cult leader! I just want to enjoy my life and never make my bed, but if making your bed brings you joy, you should!!! <3

If I Pay To Join The Never Make Your Bed Incorporated Cult, What Will I Get?

Free subscribers to Never Make Your Bed Incorporated will get access to all of Sophie Venz’s published work across numerous publications in both print and online, including Forbes, Forbes Advisor, SmartCompany, Women’s Agenda, Cosmo, Mamamia, Punkee, Frankie, and more.

A weekly newsletter is sent on Friday mornings (AEST) which includes these latest articles that are otherwise paywalled by the publications (this is mostly for my Dad, because Weso is over having to subscribe to twelve different newsletters just to read what I have been writing that week. On ya Weso, I’ve got you!).

Buttttt paid subscribers will get the above AND also be initated into the official Never Make Your Bed Incorporated Cult, be able to read my never before published long-form creative essays and poems in Special Sunday editions and will receive early access to the first chapters of my memoir about when I had a brain infection. Good times!!! Miss you Woger!!!! <3

!!! Founding subscribers !!! will have their full names printed in the acknowledgment section of said memoir, which is being published in Australia in late 2025, and receive a free signed copy from yours truly. I’ll also be in love with you forever, but I fall in love pretty easily, so don’t get too excited.

Boring Stuff Substack Wants Me To Tell You

According to the pre-written text from Substack, you can enjoy a spam-free, ad-free reading experience on the Substack app.

I don’t like the app at all because I’m more of a desktop girlie myself, but you might! Go off king!! Whatever makes you happy makes me happy, even if that means you make your bed each day. Can’t relate, but I support you.

YOU can support ME by never telling me to make my bed, and by being a subscriber of any kind. Love you!!!

To learn more about the tech platform that powers this publication, visit Substack.com. I think I have to keep this line here so Substack lets me use their platform? Uncomfirmed, and too scared to test it after Elon blocked me on Twitter. I mean X. FUCK. SORRY ELON. YOU ARE A TECH BRO AND I AM A CREATIVE. LET’S JUST AGREE TO DISAGREE.